THREE – How are you after the birth?
Breast feeding is easy, the baby feeds and sleeps , you are up only once in the night, and you can get back into your favourite jeans after two weeks. You enjoy your new role as a mother and just love all the attention, visitors, presents and are delighted to get back to the white wine and even the odd ciggy. The pelvic floor is in place and sex last night was not a bad you thought it would be, so there is definitely life after babies, and maybe we could do this once more?
Or is there an alternative scenario?
Everything hurts, up three times a night and my piles are killing me. My nipples are cracked and feeding the baby is awful. My stitches are still pulling and I look as though I’m still pregnant. I could kill my next door neighbour for asking when I’m due.
I can’t get out of the house before 4pm and I’m still in my maternity gear. And I dare not cough just in case I leak. I’m scared to have a look down there, but it feels as if a hand grenade gone off. My mother says I should pull myself together but I just can’t stop feeling sad. And theHealth Visitor is driving me mad. Never again!
Well as you can see , some women bounce back from pregnancy with minimal wear and tear and are back to a different normality within weeks.
Others take longer, have complications, get depressed and never really ever recover from the experience. They may have had a model pregnancy and a straightforward delivery and just hit the wall in the postnatal period, even if the baby is doing well. One in ten women get postnatal depression , and it is often , yes , you guessed it, unpredictable.
What to do?
Call in all your markers. Mother, Mother in Law , partner, friends.
Get sleep whenever you can.
Do not make commitments in the early weeks, which could add to your stress.
Do not expect too much too soon.
Do not be fooled into believing that you can be all things to all people . Wife, home manager, cook, fashion guru, sexy beast,social butterfly, athlete, banker, lawyer, AND MOTHER!
Very often it’s the mother thing that is the most challenging. You simply can’t do it all.
FOUR – The Baby! Click HERE to continue