Guilt is high up there on the list of emotions that you feel on a daily basis as a mother. Even if you sit on the floor all day and play with your little ones (massive pet hate of mine) and tend to their every needs, then you will feel guilty about the housework or the social life you are neglecting. If you spend all day polishing your kitchen counter top and preparing gourmet meals for your children and husband, then you will feel guilty as they tug at your leg or yell at you for attention. If you spend every waking hour dashing from music group to softplay to tea parties, you will feel guilty that you have done nothing for your own sanity and that you are becoming some kind of mush-brained bore. And vice versa, if you spend 5 days a week in the boardroom or having your hair done and meeting friends for lunch whilst someone else raises your child you will feel guilty that you are not giving your children the attention that they need.
So whilst these examples are obvious guilt-makers, lets talk about some other less palpable and more contentious things that we mothers often feel guilty about. Lets absolve ourselves of our “sins” by ‘fessing up and coming clean about the “bad” things we mothers do!
Please don’t judge me, just have a read and add your own confessions to the list!
I confess that…
- Sometimes I HATE being a mother and on occasion have thought of opening the front door and running away.
- Sometimes, when they are really driving me mad, I wish that THEY would just go away…then I wouldn’t have to do the running away..I am too tired for that!
- Sometimes I feel like I want to wallop them. When Thing 1 is being idiotic and irrational and I cannot get him to stop shouting the same thing over and over again and Thing 2 has moaned and cried all day long, they push me right to the edge!
- Sometimes after 10 hours of non-stop talking and shouting Thing 1’s voice begins to sound like fingers nails on a blackboard and I just want to scream or zip his mouth up!
- Sometimes I feel so jealous of my husband going off to work on his bike. He has 45 minutes of exercise on his way to work and then gets to talk to grown ups and drink uninterrupted cups of tea whilst I feel like I am about to start a round of The Hunger Games with no weapons and only 5 hours sleep.
- Sometimes I wish I had a proper job and worked 5 days a week.
- Sometimes I feel guilty that I cannot contribute more financially to the upkeep of our house and family.
- I sometimes look at other people’s children and think, “They are way cuter than my snotty monsters. I wish mine had better hair, less dribble, longer legs, less attitude, more skills in the sleeping department, less skills in the verbal department”. I sometimes think my children must be harder work than everyone else’s and I wish for quieter, easier, calmer children.
- Yet, sometimes I look at other people’s children and think, “Thank goodness mine are not as bad as that!”
- Sometimes I would rather see what is happening to random ex-friends on Facebook and complete strangers on Twitter than listen to my own children.
- Sometimes I think I am a brilliant mother and my children are getting a great start in life with me. Other times I think I am probably an awful mother who swears too much and doesn’t give them enough attention/read to them enough/do enough puzzles/sing enough songs and they will grow up to be drug-addict sociopaths.
- Sometimes I let Thing 1 play on the iPad for an hour so I can get things done. He isn’t playing killing games, just watching Peppa Pig on repeat, often in Russian!?
- I sometimes let them eat food that would have Annabel Karmel quaking in her boots. I’m not talking jelly sweets and Happy Meals all week, just the odd tin of Spaghetti Hoops when the going gets tough!
There is no way to escape motherhood-induced guilt. I think it goes hand-in-hand with having children, but how you chose to deal with it and what effect it has on your life, if any, is up to you. Talking to others and sharing your feelings can help you to feel better as you realise that what you are experiencing is pretty normal!
And …2 more confessions for the record
Sometimes I feel like I love my boys so much that I want to squeeze them till they burst. I pin them down and kiss them till they are screeching to be released!
And mostly, I think they are the cutest and cleverest children in existence and want to yell from the rooftops to the world about how lucky I am to have them!